The standard conventional way to look at middle age and sex is to assume that sex gets worse over time:
- There will be less sex.
- There will be less juiciness and sexy thoughts.
- There will be more bodily aches and pains that will interfere.
- The men will have less sexual desire. They will lose their drive to have sex.
- The men will have decreased or no erections.
- Their partners won’t be interested any more.
- The bodies are not attractive enough any more.
- It’s too embarrassing: older people are not supposed to be sexual.
- Everyone is too crotchety and irritable to have fun.
These statements are myths! They are all things that can be fixed or worked around. Middle aged men and their partners can definitely have best sex ever because:
Let’s talk about:
– What makes it the best sex ever?
– What can you do to optimize your chances for your sex life to the best it can be?
– What are the possible pitfalls? They are discussed in the chapter on that topic.
Middle aged life in general is ‘best ever’ for many men – and women – because:
– They are in the fullness of their rich life experience.
– They have gained perspective on what’s truly important. And what is not.
– They have learned a lot about themselves, and they use that information.
– They have figured out how to manage themselves to be happier in their own skin.
– They have learned a lot about nurturing relationships.
– They know how to listen to women, and how to talk to women.
– They have realized that they will die. And therefore they are willing to make more effort and take more risks to live life to the fullest.
– They have ‘arrived’: In life, in their work, in their accomplishments.
– They are quietly confident in themselves.
– They have more time because the kids are grown up, and work is less consuming.
– They have more physical space and privacy because the kids have left home.
Midlife sex is best ever for many men – and women – because:
– They translate this life learning from the list above into their relationship life and their sex life.
– They have a lot more sexual experience now than they had as a young person.
– They have done and are constantly doing more sexual learning.
– They have the time, energy, money, and curiosity to keep learning about sex and about relationships.
– They have learned and are constantly learning sexual tools and skills.
– They are more uninhibited.
– They are ready to break loose and explore more aspects of sexuality.
– They have the maturity to slow down.
– They are less constrained and are willing to venture into areas of sexuality that are more adventurous.
– They realize the finite-ness of life. And so they push themselves to look at their dreams and fantasies with more focus, and they also do that for their partners.
– They become more free spirited in many ways.
To optimize your sex life in midlife:
– Seriously consider Daily Cialis.
– Consider testosterone for yourself.
– Find a medical practice such as my medical practice: Someone who really knows this material who will have your back for optimal mid-life health and sexuality. Then make appointments often enough to continually optimize. My medical practice is available to men all over the USA.
– Create peak sexual function for yourself. Observe yourself: What improves your sexual function? What diminishes it?
To optimize your physical well-being for better sex:
– Stay in good physical shape. Find ways to move your body that you don’t hate.
– Eat lightly to keep your weight down. However do not waste too much time and energy obsessing about the perfect diet.
– No alcohol. Or just minimal amounts on just a couple of nights per week. If you cannot do minimal use of alcohol, just stop it completely. It’s poison for you.
– Not too much use of cannabis either.
To optimize your dreams-and-schemes aspect of sex:
– Be willing to spend the hours of time and the emotional energy to identify your fantasies and dreams.
– Take steps toward making them happen.
– Do the same thing for your partner’s fantasies and dreams.
– Educate, educate, educate! Continually educate yourself about all aspects of sex: buy and read books, hire people, take courses, go to workshops.
– Try new stuff, and observe the results. In yourself and your partner.
– Focus on fun!