Why Can Midlife Men Have Best Sex Ever? And Their Partners Too!

The standard conventional way to look at middle age and sex is to assume that sex gets worse over time:

  • There will be less sex.
  • There will be less juiciness and sexy thoughts.
  • There will be more bodily aches and pains that will interfere.
  • The men will have less sexual desire. They will lose their drive to have sex.
  • The men will have decreased or no erections.
  • Their partners won’t be interested any more.
  • The bodies are not attractive enough any more.
  • It’s too embarrassing: older people are not supposed to be sexual.
  • Everyone is too crotchety and irritable to have fun.

These statements are myths! They are all things that can be fixed or worked around. Middle aged men and their partners can definitely have best sex ever because:

Let’s talk about:

– What makes it the best sex ever?

– What can you do to optimize your chances for your sex life to the best it can be?

– What are the possible pitfalls? They are discussed in the chapter on that topic.


Middle aged life in general is ‘best ever’ for many men – and women –  because:

– They are in the fullness of their rich life experience.

– They have gained perspective on what’s truly important. And what is not.

– They have learned a lot about themselves, and they use that information.

– They have figured out how to manage themselves to be happier in their own skin.

– They have learned a lot about nurturing relationships.

– They know how to listen to women, and how to talk to women.

– They have realized that they will die.  And therefore they are willing to make more effort and take more risks to live life to the fullest.

– They have ‘arrived’: In life, in their work, in their accomplishments.

– They are quietly confident in themselves.

– They have more time because the kids are grown up, and work is less consuming.

– They have more physical space and privacy because the kids have left home.


Midlife sex is best ever for many men – and women – because:

– They translate this life learning from the list above into their relationship life and their sex life.

– They have a lot more sexual experience now than they had as a young person.

– They have done and are constantly doing more sexual learning.

– They have the time, energy, money, and curiosity to keep learning about sex and about relationships.

– They have learned and are constantly learning sexual tools and skills.

– They are more uninhibited.

– They are ready to break loose and explore more aspects of sexuality.

– They have the maturity to slow down.

– They are less constrained and are willing to venture into areas of sexuality that are more adventurous.

– They realize the finite-ness of life. And so they push themselves to look at their dreams and fantasies with more focus, and they also do that for their partners.

– They become more free spirited in many ways.


To optimize your sex life in midlife:

– Seriously consider Daily Cialis.

– Consider testosterone for yourself.

– Find a medical practice such as my medical practice: Someone who really knows this material who will have your back for optimal mid-life health and sexuality. Then make appointments often enough to continually optimize. My medical practice is available to men all over the USA.

– Create peak sexual function for yourself. Observe yourself: What improves your sexual function? What diminishes it?


To optimize your physical well-being for better sex:

– Stay in good physical shape. Find ways to move your body that you don’t hate.

– Eat lightly to keep your weight down. However do not waste too much time and energy obsessing about the perfect diet.

– No alcohol.  Or just minimal amounts on just a couple of nights per week. If you cannot do minimal use of alcohol, just stop it completely. It’s poison for you.

– Not too much use of cannabis either.


To optimize your dreams-and-schemes aspect of sex:

– Be willing to spend the hours of time and the emotional energy to identify your fantasies and dreams.

– Take steps toward making them happen.

– Do the same thing for your partner’s fantasies and dreams.

– Educate, educate, educate! Continually educate yourself about all aspects of sex: buy and read books, hire people, take courses, go to workshops.

– Try new stuff, and observe the results. In yourself and your partner.

– Focus on fun!

The Difference between Cialis and Viagra

When would you choose one over the other?

What is the difference in their effects?

How are the two pills different?


• The generic is called sildenafil.

• It kicks in faster, in about 30 to 60 minutes.  

• It is shorter-acting: It lasts for about 2 to 4 hours.

• You can take it up to 4 hours before sex.

• It has to be taken on an empty stomach. If you take it with food in your stomach, it will not do much.

• It is way more effective with little or no alcohol on board.

• It has more side effects in terms of skin flushing, stuffy nose, headache than Cialis.

• Viagra is not used on a daily basis.

• Viagra packs more “oomph” than Cialis: It has a stronger effect for that shorter period of time.

How do you take Viagra for a dinner date?

    • • This is the problem that occurs on many dates: You go out. You have a couple of drinks, then you have a nice big dinner with wine. Then you swallow your Viagra and …. nothing happens.
    • • On dates: I agree with Dan Savage of Savage LoveCast: Have sex first! Then go out to dinner after the sex. Sexual function and sexual energy are so much better with an empty stomach and without the alcohol.

• You can take the Viagra before eating. But a big meal will still make it much less effective. So you would eat very lightly. So, yes, men do go through a lot of trouble to please the ladies!



    • • The generic is called tadalafil.
    • • It kicks in more slowly: it takes 2 to 3 hours to take effect.
    • • It lasts longer: 1 to 2 days. It is the “weekend drug.”
    • • You can take it with or without food.
    • • It is also more effective with little or no alcohol on board.
    • • It has much fewer side effects than Viagra.
    • • Some side effects, like skin flushing, are less severe than Viagra.
    • • Some men do notice the side effects of heartburn, flushed face, stuffy nose, and back pain.
    • • Most people are familiar with taking Cialis as needed for sex. For an occasion where there will be sex or might be sex, then you take some Cialis.
    • • It can also be taken via a method called Daily Cialis. You take some Cialis every single day, whether sex is planned that day or not. The dosage often is less than one would take for the per-occasion method, however the dosage can be adjusted upwards if needed.

• Daily Cialis has a surprising multitude of general health benefits that are unrelated to the sexual effect. You can read  about that in my book Daily Cialis: Best Sex Ever for Midlife Men – and Their Partners. https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Cialis-Best-Ever-Midlife-ebook/dp/B07CMGJZ7D/ is the link so you can check it out.

We will talk about these topics  more in later posts.

About Viagra and Cialis: How They Are Similar

       About Viagra and Cialis: How They Are Similar

    • • They have the same mechanism of action: via the dilation of the blood vessels.
    • • They both require a prescription in the USA.
    • • They both cost a lot for the brand name. 
    • • They are about to come out as generics. Some formulations may already be out as generics in USA however the dosages may be low.
    • • They are already generics in some parts of the world.
    • • Both may come out as over-the-counter medications in the future. Some formulations may already be out in USA however the dosages may be low.
    • • They have been on the market for a long time. There have been millions of prescriptions written. So, we have a great deal of information about their amazingly good safety profile.
    • • The doses that are optimal can vary hugely from man to man. 
    • • Both have the same cautions: Do not use with substances like poppers nor with nitrates for chest pain.

Occasions when men may choose to use Cialis or Viagra, 

even if they usually do not take it:

    • • For the first time having sex with a new partner
    • • For sex in a distracting setting
    • • For sex when he feels there is more at stake or when he wants some help to be able to relax about his sexual function

Can you get physically addicted?

    • • You do not get addicted to Cialis or Viagra. If you have used them, you can stop using them anytime without problems. You will not get a rebound effect. Your function will not be worse later because you took these pills.
    • • You do not get habituated to them. That means that, in the future, you will not need more to have the same effect. 
    • • As you get older, and your underlying function decreases, you may choose to use more of them to get the same effect. But that is because your body’s function has decreased, not because you are habituated to the drug or that the drug’s effect has decreased.
    • • Both medications could become a psychological habit if they are taken automatically all the time when there is no ED. So don’t do that!

Can I get an embarrassing uncontrolled erection?

    • • Many men are worried about taking V or C because they fear a constant, uncontrollable erection.
    • • This is not how these medications work; you still need the usual sexual and physical arousal activities to get hard.
    • • It’s just that the stimulation is more effective with the drugs than without them.
    • • If you sit around waiting for an erection to appear out of nowhere, then you will be disappointed.
    • • If you take the meds, and then you get juicy with your partner, you will find your penis responding in a very natural way. 
    • • When the stimulation ends, the erection will subside, as usual.